Do you ever wish you could just completely alter your personality?
I mean, I can say with confidence that I “like” myself—at least most of the time—but sometimes I wish I could round up a few of my friends’ and peers’ best qualities to go along with my superior intelligence, flawless beauty, and unmatched sense of humor. 😉
Exaggeration and hyperbole are a couple of my strong suits, too.
Seriously, though. While I think I’m an intelligent, kind, hardworking, loyal, and decent person, there are some traits of mine that I’m not as fond of. I’m often too sarcastic, I am quick to become angry, I’m bad at sharing my feelings, and I’m too reluctant to take risks.
Yes, if I could change one thing about myself—right this moment—I would become a risk taker.
I don’t mean that I would experiment with drugs or go jump out of an airplane (I fear I’d enjoy drugs too much and I’m saving the airplane for when I’m 90 and have nothing to lose).
What I mean is—I would have taken more calculated risks early in my “adulthood” and pushed some of my complacency and practicality aside.
I wouldn’t say that I regret where my life has led me (I have a loving husband, a steady-ish income, and the most perfect child in the world with whom I’ve shared many wonderful experiences), but I often wish I had “lived” a little more after I graduated college.
Although I was fortunate to have studied abroad in London after my junior year, I never hopped on an airplane to backpack through Europe or snorkel in Asia.
Throughout high school and even college, I always saw myself moving to some big city (NYC, Chicago, San Francisco?) to further my education or work in publishing or law, and yet I decided almost immediately after college graduation against graduate school (in hindsight, a great decision—because there’s nothing worse than a BA in English that you don’t use except for a MA in English that you don’t use). I love my hometown, but I’ve never lived anywhere else!
Instead of creating my own opportunities, I grasped tightly to the few that were presented to me and chose to make the best of what I had. I still do this, and while it’s allowed me the comforts I enjoy and sometimes take for granted, I often wonder, “am I missing out?”
This post is kind of circular. I don’t have a big conclusion or revelation, and I’m not about to announce that I’m embarking on some huge adventure or change (I’m not).
I guess what I’m saying is that, while there’s room for being practical and careful, we only get one life and owe ourselves a few calculated risks. So I’m going to be more mindful in my choices. I’m always going to put my family at the top of my priorities, but I’m going to take my goals and dreams more seriously.
Because…what have I got to lose?
[linking up for thinking out loud]
- Are you a risk taker?
- What is one personality trait of yours that you value? Or would change?