Do you crave connection?
If you say no, I’m calling you out.
Because even the most introverted among us (oh hello there, self) are social beings to some degree—it’s in our DNA.
Sure, we crave connection in different ways. You may enjoy being surrounded by groups of people, interviewing folks on your podcast, teaching ESL classes, mentoring or counseling others, or connecting via the internet in the solitude of your own home and comfy PJs, but the desire to connect is still there.
It may sound like common sense, but until the other day at work, I didn’t realize how much I crave connection—especially in this “working mom and wife” season of my life where I feel like all I do is eat, sleep, go to work, take care of Bazooka, rinse, and repeat.
On Craving Connection
A year or so ago—when my untreated anxiety was making our home life challenging—I purchased and read the book, The 5 Love Languages.
I realized that my husband’s love language—sometimes to my frustration—is “acts of service” and mine, it turns out, is “quality time.”
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love that my husband is so giving. It is undoubtedly one of his best traits, and while it is sometimes difficult for me to allow him to take care of me and do things for me that I normally would do myself, it’s something I cherish.
As for me, even though I’m quite introverted and am anxious in social interactions, I love to connect. And I am upset if I feel that somebody is giving me only half their attention or doesn’t value what I am saying.
Outside of my personal desire to be heard, I also love to watch people, listen to others’ stories, discuss philosophical ideas, marvel at obscure facts and silly things about human nature…with others.
Although I can be short-tempered and cruel at times (when I let my anxiety get the best of me), I am an empath at my core. People may stress me out and I may need my space from them to “recharge,” but I actually am a “people person.”
And, yet, I rarely give myself time to connect with people.
Thankfully, I’m able to do this with my blogging (your comments and shared insights are incredible to me), but as my two coworkers and I had a seemingly-mundane conversation about our homes, decorating styles, antipathy toward having too much clutter and stuff, I realized how deeply I value those types of conversations.
Sometimes, you just need to talk. You need real, live human interaction to function and thrive. To realize that we’re all more alike than we are different.
And, so, with that realization, I’m going to do better.
I’m going to make stronger efforts to connect with my friends who live locally. I’m going to be more outgoing at the gym. I’m going to try to make regular coffee dates and dinners a part of my routine. I’m going to pick up the phone more frequently—not to mindlessly scroll, but to actually make a phone call.
The internet and social media are wonderful things, but they don’t make up for face-to-face conversation. They don’t always give us that satisfaction of “quality time.”
I think it all boils down to being more present. Life moves so quickly, and I don’t want to regret missing out on memorable conversations and experiences with my loved ones.We all crave connection #TOL #connect Click To Tweet
[linking up with Amanda for thinking out loud]
So tell me…
- Do you know what your love language is?
- Are you an introvert or extrovert?
- What is your favorite way to connect?