I usually prepare a post in advance for days like today, but while I did know in the back of my mind that today is World Mental Health Day and October 7-13 is Mental Health Awareness Week, writing hasn’t been a primary focus the last couple months.
And, if I’m being completely honest, I’ve been neglecting my own mental health and wellbeing somewhat since our move to the new house.
I took a break from the gym. I’ve been eating less nutritious foods—and using junk food as a coping mechanism for when I’m anxious or upset. I’ve even let some—let’s call it what it is: bullying—get under my skin.
After a bit of self-reflection and recognition of some of my habits/avoidances, I came up with a few thoughts to share.
Maybe the most important thing to remember: you’re not broken and you’re not a burden.
Nobody is perfect, but, sadly, it’s engrained in our systems to be as close to that unattainable measure as possible. You may live with anxiety or depression your entire life, but it is simply a part of you: just like your laugh, your affinity for 90s pop music, your wild hair, or your dry sense of humor.
People will try to delegitimize your personal trials and issues—don’t let them.
I mentioned above that, for the first time in my 5+ years of spilling my feelings over the internet for invisible internet friends to read, I’ve experienced some bullying. I am 34, for god’s sake. I thought cyber-bullying was limited to primary schools.
Somebody—a person that I obviously know in some capacity—has taken it upon him/herself to make hateful comments on my social media. They’ve criticized my looks and opinions, my efforts to spread joy and acceptance, and—most painfully—they’ve tried to minimize and delegitimize some of the most vulnerable truths about my struggles that I’ve shared.
It would be easy to let this get under my skin. It has, to an extent, but I refuse to let it silence me. I feel I have a gift to share with the world—my writing and creating—and I feel called to share my experience with anybody who may need the support.
So, these comments could squash my joy. They could make me feel inferior or foolish or petty or confused about my personal struggles and triumphs, but I know I’m better than that. Your story is yours alone—and nobody’s cruel or dismissive words should silence you.
Many things can coexist—and be true—simultaneously. It’s best to relieve yourself from the struggle and let things be.
One of my biggest sources of anxiety is our current political/social climate. It frustrates me that we are so divided and full of hatred toward one another. And, as somebody who’s had many experiences with black-or-white thinking (in regards to food, exercise, my own health…), I just want to shout from the rooftops that TWO SEEMINGLY OPPOSITES CAN BOTH BE TRUE!!!
I don’t want to digress into an angry essay here, but just know that life and success and joy is in the GRAY. Furthermore, it’s ok to be both sad and joyful. It’s ok to grieve and celebrate. Nothing exists in a vacuum.
It’s ok to step back. It doesn’t mean you’re less “woke” or not doing your part; it just means you recognize the need to care for yourself.
To go with the above, I feel this struggle often. I want to fill my life with volunteer work. I want to write commentary that is both informative and impassioned, and I want to make a difference. But sometimes I allow those desires to create tension and anger—and I realize that whispering on the sidelines can be just as important as shouting from the pedestal.
Few things are linear.
Slipping up, “falling off the wagon,” or flirting with bad habits doesn’t mean you’re stuck or going down an irreversible path. It just means you’re growing and traveling a journey with bumps and turns. Keep taking baby steps. Keep your eyes forward.
Some thoughts for #WorldMentalHealthDay and beyond #curestigma #mentalhealthmatters Click To TweetSo tell me…
- Have you ever been bullied? How did you handle it?
- What does World Mental Health Day mean to you, personally?
Gina says
The first time I was bullied online I pretty much shut down and hid from the world. The second time it made me more determined to share my story, because obviously something I was saying hit a nerve with some people.
I’ve often noticed that people who feel bad about their own lives sometimes try to project that onto other people by attacking them. They only feel better if they make someone else feel worse.
Keep telling your story. Never give up. Never give in.
Catherine says
Thank you, Gina.
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that, but I am happy for you that you were able to gain strength the second time around and continue to speak out.
I agree–we often project our insecurities/negative feelings onto others. I think that’s what this “bully” may be doing, too, so I’m trying to shake it off and keep hoping they find a way to feel better about themselves.